Chapter 117

PhiliphadwrittentoAthelnytotellhimthathewasdoingalocuminDorsetshireandinduecoursereceivedananswerfromhim.Itwaswrittenintheformalmannerheaffected,studdedwithpompousepithetsasaPersiandiademwasstuddedwithpreciousstones;andinthebeautifulhand,likeblackletterandasdifficulttoread,uponwhichhepridedhimself.HesuggestedthatPhilipshouldjoinhimandhisfamilyintheKentishhop-fieldtowhichhewenteveryyear;andtopersuadehimsaidvariousbeautifulandcomplicatedthingsaboutPhilip』ssoulandthewindingtendrilsofthehops.Philiprepliedatoncethathewouldcomeonthefirstdayhewasfree.Thoughnotbornthere,hehadapeculiaraffectionfortheIsleofThanet,andhewasfiredwithenthusiasmatthethoughtofspendingafortnightsoclosetotheearthandamidconditionswhichneededonlyablueskytobeasidyllicastheolivegrovesofArcady.

ThefourweeksofhisengagementatFarnleypassedquickly.Onthecliffanewtownwasspringingup,withredbrickvillasroundgolflinks,andalargehotelhadrecentlybeenopenedtocaterforthesummervisitors;butPhilipwentthereseldom.Downbelow,bytheharbour,thelittlestonehousesofapastcenturywereclusteredinadelightfulconfusion,andthenarrowstreets,climbingdownsteeply,hadanairofantiquitywhichappealedtotheimagination.Bythewater』sedgewereneatcottageswithtrim,tinygardensinfrontofthem;theywereinhabitedbyretiredcaptainsinthemerchantservice,andbymothersorwidowsofmenwhohadgainedtheirliving

bythesea;andtheyhadanappearancewhichwasquaintandpeaceful.InthelittleharbourcametrampsfromSpainandtheLevant,shipsofsmalltonnage;andnowandthenawindjammerwasborneinbythewindsofromance.ItremindedPhilipofthedirtylittleharbourwithitscolliersatBlackstable,andhethoughtthattherehehadfirstacquiredthedesire,whichwasnowanobsession,forEasternlandsandsunlitislandsinatropicsea.Buthereyoufeltyourselfclosertothewide,deepoceanthanontheshoreofthatNorthSeawhichseemedalwayscircumscribed;hereyoucoulddrawalongbreathasyoulookedoutupontheevenvastness;andthewestwind,thedearsoftsaltwindofEngland,upliftedtheheartandatthesametimemeltedittotenderness.

Oneevening,whenPhiliphadreachedhislastweekwithDoctorSouth,achildcametothesurgerydoorwhiletheolddoctorandPhilipweremakingupprescriptions.Itwasalittleraggedgirlwithadirtyfaceandbarefeet.Philipopenedthedoor.

「Please,sir,willyoucometoMrs.Fletcher』sinIvyLaneatonce?」

「What』sthematterwithMrs.Fletcher?」calledoutDoctorSouthinhisraspingvoice.

Thechildtooknonoticeofhim,butaddressedherselfagaintoPhilip.

「Please,sir,herlittleboy』shadanaccidentandwillyoucomeatonce?」

「TellMrs.FletcherI』mcoming,」calledoutDoctorSouth.

Thelittlegirlhesitatedforamoment,andputtingadirtyfingerinadirtymouthstoodstillandlookedatPhilip.

「What』sthematter,Kid?」saidPhilip,smiling.

「Please,sir,Mrs.Fletchersays,willthenewdoctorcome?」TherewasasoundinthedispensaryandDoctorSouthcameoutintothepassage.

「Isn』tMrs.Fletchersatisfiedwithme?」hebarked.

「I』veattendedMrs.Fletchersinceshewasborn.Whyaren』tIgoodenoughtoattendherfilthybrat?」

Thelittlegirllookedforamomentasthoughsheweregoingtocry,thenshethoughtbetterofit;sheputouthertonguedeliberatelyatDoctorSouth,and,beforehecouldrecoverfromhisastonishment,boltedoffasfastasshecouldrun.Philipsawthattheoldgentlemanwasannoyed.

「Youlookratherfagged,andit』sagoodishwaytoIvyLane,」hesaid,bywayofgivinghimanexcusenottogohimself.

DoctorSouthgavealowsnarl.

「It』sadamnedsightnearerforamanwho』sgottheuseofbothlegsthanforamanwho』sonlygotoneandahalf.」

Philipreddenedandstoodsilentforawhile.

「Doyouwishmetogoorwillyougoyourself?」hesaidatlastfrigidly.

「What』sthegoodofmygoing?Theywantyou.」

Philiptookuphishatandwenttoseethepatient.Itwasharduponeighto』clockwhenhecameback.DoctorSouthwasstandinginthedining-roomwithhisbacktothefireplace.

「You』vebeenalongtime,」hesaid.

「I』msorry.Whydidn』tyoustartdinner?」

「BecauseIchosetowait.HaveyoubeenallthiswhileatMrs.Fletcher』s?」

「No,I』mafraidIhaven』t.Istoppedtolookatthesunsetonmywayback,andIdidn』tthinkofthetime.」

DoctorSouthdidnotreply,andtheservantbroughtinsomegrilledsprats.Philipatethemwithanexcellentappetite.SuddenlyDoctorSouthshotaquestionathim.

「Whydidyoulookatthesunset?」

Philipansweredwithhismouthfull.

「BecauseIwashappy.」

DoctorSouthgavehimanoddlook,andtheshadow

ofasmileflickeredacrosshisold,tiredface.Theyatetherestofthedinnerinsilence;butwhenthemaidhadgiventhemtheportandlefttheroom,theoldmanleanedbackandfixedhissharpeyesonPhilip.

「ItstungyouupabitwhenIspokeofyourgameleg,youngfellow?」hesaid.

「Peoplealwaysdo,directlyorindirectly,whentheygetangrywithme.」

「Isupposetheyknowit』syourweakpoint.」

Philipfacedhimandlookedathimsteadily.

「Areyouverygladtohavediscoveredit?」

Thedoctordidnotanswer,buthegaveachuckleofbittermirth.Theysatforawhilestaringatoneanother.ThenDoctorSouthsurprisedPhilipextremely.

「Whydon』tyoustayhereandI』llgetridofthatdamnedfoolwithhismumps?」

「It』sverykindofyou,butIhopetogetanappointmentatthehospitalintheautumn.It』llhelpmesomuchingettingotherworklater.」

「I』mofferingyouapartnership,」saidDoctorSouthgrumpily.

「Why?」askedPhilip,withsurprise.

「Theyseemtolikeyoudownhere.」

「Ididn』tthinkthatwasafactwhichaltogethermetwithyourapproval,」Philipsaiddrily.

「D』yousupposethatafterfortyyears』practiceIcareatwopennydamnwhetherpeopleprefermyassistanttome?No,myfriend.There』snosentimentbetweenmypatientsandme.Idon』texpectgratitudefromthem,Iexpectthemtopaymyfees.Well,whatd』yousaytoit?」

Philipmadenoreply,notbecausehewasthinkingovertheproposal,butbecausehewasastonished.Itwasevidentlyveryunusualforsomeonetoofferapartnershiptoanewlyqualifiedman;andherealisedwithwonderthat,althoughnothingwouldinducehimtosayso,DoctorSouthhadtakenafancytohim.HethoughthowamusedthesecretaryatSt.Luke』swouldbewhenhetoldhim.

「Thepracticebringsinaboutsevenhundredayear.Wecanreckonouthowmuchyoursharewouldbeworth,andyoucanpaymeoffbydegrees.AndwhenIdieyoucansucceedme.Ithinkthat』sbetterthanknockingabouthospitalsfortwoorthreeyears,andthentakingassistantshipsuntilyoucanaffordtosetupforyourself.」

Philipknewitwasachancethatmostpeopleinhisprofessionwouldjumpat;theprofessionwasover-crowded,andhalfthemenheknewwouldbethankfultoacceptthecertaintyofevensomodestacompetenceasthat.

「I』mawfullysorry,butIcan』t,」hesaid.「ItmeansgivingupeverythingI』veaimedatforyears.InonewayandanotherI』vehadaroughishtime,butIalwayshadthatonehopebeforeme,togetqualifiedsothatImighttravel;andnow,whenIwakeinthemorning,mybonessimplyachetogetoff,Idon』tmindwhereparticularly,butjustaway,toplacesI』veneverbeento.」

Nowthegoalseemedverynear.HewouldhavefinishedhisappointmentatSt.Luke』sbythemiddleofthefollowingyear,andthenhewouldgotoSpain;hecouldaffordtospendseveralmonthsthere,ramblingupanddownthelandwhichstoodtohimforromance;afterthathewouldgetashipandgototheEast.Lifewasbeforehimandtimeofnoaccount.Hecouldwander,foryearsifhechose,inunfrequentedplaces,amidstrangepeoples,wherelifewasledinstrangeways.Hedidnotknowwhathesoughtorwhathisjourneyswouldbringhim;buthehadafeelingthathewouldlearnsomethingnewaboutlifeandgainsomecluetothemysterythathehadsolvedonlytofindmoremysterious.Andevenifhefoundnothinghewouldallaytheunrestwhichgnawedathisheart.ButDoctorSouthwasshowinghimagreatkindness,anditseemedungratefultorefusehisofferfornoadequatereason;soinhisshyway,tryingtoappearasmatteroffactaspossible,hemadesomeattempttoexplainwhyitwassoimportanttohimtocarryouttheplanshehadcherishedsopassionately.

DoctorSouthlistenedquietly,andagentlelookcameintohisshrewdoldeyes.ItseemedtoPhilipanaddedkindnessthathedidnotpresshimtoaccepthisoffer.Benevolenceisoftenveryperemptory.HeappearedtolookuponPhilip』sreasonsassound.Droppingthesubject,hebegantotalkofhisownyouth;hehadbeenintheRoyalNavy,anditwashislongconnectionwiththeseathat,whenheretired,hadmadehimsettleatFarnley.HetoldPhilipofolddaysinthePacificandofwildadventuresinChina.Hehadtakenpartinanexpeditionagainstthehead-huntersofBorneoandhadknownSamoawhenitwasstillanindependentstate.Hehadtouchedatcoralislands.Philiplistenedtohimentranced.LittlebylittlehetoldPhilipabouthimself.DoctorSouthwasawidower,hiswifehaddiedthirtyyearsbefore,andhisdaughterhadmarriedafarmerinRhodesia;hehadquarrelledwithhim,andshehadnotcometoEnglandfortenyears.Itwasjustasifhehadneverhadwifeorchild.Hewasverylonely.Hisgruffnesswaslittlemorethanaprotectionwhichheworetohideacompletedisillusionment;andtoPhilipitseemedtragictoseehimjustwaitingfordeath,notimpatiently,butratherwithloathingforit,hatingoldageandunabletoresignhimselftoitslimitations,andyetwiththefeelingthatdeathwastheonlysolutionofthebitternessofhislife.Philipcrossedhispath,andthenaturalaffectionwhichlongseparationfromhisdaughterhadkilled—shehadtakenherhusband』spartinthequarrelandherchildrenhehadneverseen—settleditselfuponPhilip.Atfirstitmadehimangry,hetoldhimselfitwasasignofdotage;buttherewassomethinginPhilipthatattractedhim,andhefoundhimselfsmilingathimheknewnotwhy.Philipdidnotborehim.Onceortwiceheputhishandonhisshoulder:itwasasnearacaressashehadgotsincehisdaughterleftEnglandsomanyyearsbefore.WhenthetimecameforPhiliptogoDoctorSouthaccompaniedhimtothestation:hefoundhimselfunaccountablydepressed.

「I』vehadarippingtimehere,」saidPhilip.「You』vebeenawfullykindtome.」

「Isupposeyou』reverygladtogo?」

「I』veenjoyedmyselfhere.」

「Butyouwanttogetoutintotheworld?Ah,youhaveyouth.」Hehesitatedamoment.「Iwantyoutorememberthatifyouchangeyourmindmyofferstillstands.」

「That』sawfullykindofyou.」

Philipshookhandswithhimoutofthecarriagewindow,andthetrainsteamedoutofthestation.Philipthoughtofthefortnighthewasgoingtospendinthehop-field:hewashappyattheideaofseeinghisfriendsagain,andherejoicedbecausethedaywasfine.ButDoctorSouthwalkedslowlybacktohisemptyhouse.Hefeltveryoldandverylonely.