Chapter 120

PhilipsleptlikealogandawokewithastarttofindHaroldticklinghisfacewithafeather.Therewasashoutofdelightwhenheopenedhiseyes.Hewasdrunkenwithsleep.

「Comeon,lazybones,」saidJane.「Sallysaysshewon』twaitforyouunlessyouhurryup.」

Thenherememberedwhathadhappened.Hisheartsank,and,halfoutofbedalready,hestopped;hedidnotknowhowhewasgoingtofaceher;hewasoverwhelmedwithasuddenrushofself-reproach,andbitterly,bitterly,heregrettedwhathehaddone.Whatwouldshesaytohimthatmorning?Hedreadedmeetingher,andheaskedhimselfhowhecouldhavebeensuchafool.Butthechildrengavehimnotime;Edwardtookhisbathing-drawersandhistowel,Athelstantorethebed-clothesaway;andinthreeminutestheyallclattereddownintotheroad.Sallygavehimasmile.Itwasassweetandinnocentasithadeverbeen.

「Youdotakeatimetodressyourself,」shesaid.「Ithoughtyouwasnevercoming.」

Therewasnotaparticleofdifferenceinhermanner.Hehadexpectedsomechange,subtleorabrupt;hefanciedthattherewouldbeshameinthewayshetreatedhim,oranger,orperhapssomeincreaseoffamiliarity;buttherewasnothing.Shewasexactlythesameasbefore.Theywalkedtowardstheseaalltogether,talkingandlaughing;andSallywasquiet,butshewasalwaysthat,reserved,buthehadneverseenherotherwise,andgentle.Sheneithersoughtconversationwithhimnoravoidedit.Philipwasastounded.Hehadexpectedtheincidentofthenightbeforetohavecausedsomerevolutioninher,butitwasjustasthoughnothinghadhappened;itmighthavebeenadream;andashewalkedalong,alittlegirlholdingontoonehandandalittleboytotheother,whilehechattedasunconcernedlyashecould,hesoughtforanexplanation.HewonderedwhetherSallymeanttheaffairtobeforgotten.Perhapshersenseshadrunawaywithherjustashishad,and,treatingwhathadoccurredasanaccidentduetounusualcircumstances,itmightbethatshehaddecidedtoputthematteroutofhermind.Itwasascribingtoherapowerofthoughtandamaturewisdomwhichfittedneitherwithheragenorwithhercharacter.Butherealisedthatheknewnothingofher.Therehadbeeninheralwayssomethingenigmatic.

Theyplayedleap-froginthewater,andthebathewasasuproariousasonthepreviousday.Sallymotheredthemall,keepingawatchfuleyeonthem,andcallingtothemwhentheywentouttoofar.Sheswamstaidlybackwardsandforwardswhiletheothersgotuptotheirlarks,andnowandthenturnedonherbacktofloat.Presentlyshewentoutandbegandryingherself;shecalledtotheothersmoreorlessperemptorily,andatlastonlyPhilipwasleftinthewater.Hetooktheopportunitytohaveagoodhardswim.Hewasmoreusedtothecoldwaterthissecondmorning,andherevelledinitssaltfreshness;itrejoicedhimtousehislimbsfreely,andhecoveredthewaterwithlong,firmstrokes.ButSally,withatowelroundher,wentdowntothewater』sedge.

「You』retocomeoutthisminute,Philip,」shecalled,asthoughhewereasmallboyunderhercharge.

Andwhen,smilingwithamusementatherauthoritativeway,hecametowardsher,sheupbraidedhim.

「Itisnaughtyofyoutostayinsolong.Yourlipsarequiteblue,andjustlookatyourteeth,they』rechattering.」

「Allright.I』llcomeout.」

Shehadnevertalkedtohiminthatmannerbefore.Itwasasthoughwhathadhappenedgaveherasortofrightoverhim,andshelookeduponhimasachildtobecaredfor.Inafewminutestheyweredressed,andtheystartedtowalkback.Sallynoticedhishands.

「Justlook,they』requiteblue.」

「Oh,that』sallright.It』sonlythecirculation.Ishallgetthebloodbackinaminute.」

「Givethemtome.」

Shetookhishandsinhersandrubbedthem,firstoneandthentheother,tillthecolourreturned.Philip,touchedandpuzzled,watchedher.Hecouldnotsayanythingtoheronaccountofthechildren,andhedidnotmeethereyes;buthewassuretheydidnotavoid

hispurposely,itjusthappenedthattheydidnotmeet.Andduringthedaytherewasnothinginherbehaviourtosuggestaconsciousnessinherthatanythinghadpassedbetweenthem.Perhapsshewasalittlemoretalkativethanusual.Whentheywereallsittingagaininthehop-fieldshetoldhermotherhownaughtyPhiliphadbeeninnotcomingoutofthewatertillhewasbluewithcold.Itwasincredible,andyetitseemedthattheonlyeffectoftheincidentofthenightbeforewastoarouseinherafeelingofprotectiontowardshim:shehadthesameinstinctivedesiretomotherhimasshehadwithregardtoherbrothersandsisters.

Itwasnottilltheeveningthathefoundhimselfalonewithher.Shewascookingthesupper,andPhilipwassittingonthegrassbythesideofthefire.Mrs.Athelnyhadgonedowntothevillagetodosomeshopping,andthechildrenwerescatteredinvariouspursuitsoftheirown.Philiphesitatedtospeak.Hewasverynervous.Sallyattendedtoherbusinesswithserenecompetenceandsheacceptedplacidlythesilencewhichtohimwassoembarrassing.Hedidnotknowhowtobegin.Sallyseldomspokeunlessshewasspokentoorhadsomethingparticulartosay.Atlasthecouldnotbearitanylonger.

「You』renotangrywithme,Sally?」heblurtedoutsuddenly.

Sheraisedhereyesquietlyandlookedathimwithoutemotion.

「Me?No.WhyshouldIbe?」

Hewastakenabackanddidnotreply.Shetookthelidoffthepot,stirredthecontents,andputitonagain.Asavourysmellspreadovertheair.Shelookedathimoncemore,withaquietsmilewhichbarelyseparatedherlips;itwasmoreasmileoftheeyes.

「Ialwayslikedyou,」shesaid.

Hisheartgaveagreatthumpagainsthisribs,andhefeltthebloodrushingtohischeeks.Heforcedafaintlaugh.

「Ididn』tknowthat.」

「That』sbecauseyou』reasilly.」

「Idon』tknowwhyyoulikedme.」

「Idon』teither.」Sheputalittlemorewoodonthefire.「IknewIlikedyouthatdayyoucamewhenyou』dbeensleepingoutandhadn』thadanythingtoeat,d』youremember?Andmeandmother,wegotThorpy』sbedreadyforyou.」

Heflushedagain,forhedidnotknowthatshewasawareofthatincident.Herememberedithimselfwithhorrorandshame.

「That』swhyIwouldn』thaveanythingtodowiththeothers.Yourememberthatyoungfellowmotherwantedmetohave?Ilethimcometoteabecausehebotheredso,butIknewI』dsayno.」

Philipwassosurprisedthathefoundnothingtosay.Therewasaqueerfeelinginhisheart;hedidnotknowwhatitwas,unlessitwashappiness.Sallystirredthepotoncemore.

「Iwishthosechildrenwouldmakehasteandcome.Idon』tknowwherethey』vegotto.Supper』sreadynow.」

「ShallIgoandseeifIcanfindthem?」saidPhilip.

Itwasarelieftotalkaboutpracticalthings.

「Well,itwouldn』tbeabadidea,ImustsayThere』smothercoming.」

Then,ashegotup,shelookedathimwithoutembarrassment.

「ShallIcomeforawalkwithyoutonightwhenI』veputthechildrentobed?」

「Yes.」

「Well,youwaitformedownbythestile,andI』llcomewhenI』mready.」

Hewaitedunderthestars,sittingonthestile,andthehedgeswiththeirripeningblackberrieswerehighoneachsideofhim.Fromtheearthroserichscentsofthenight,andtheairwassoftandstill.Hisheartwasbeatingmadly.Hecouldnotunderstandanythingofwhathappenedtohim.Heassociatedpassionwithcriesandtearsandvehemence,andtherewasnothingofthisinSally;buthedidnotknowwhatelsebutpassioncouldhavecausedhertogiveherself.Butpassionforhim?Hewouldnothavebeensurprisedifshehadfallentohercousin,PeterGann,tall,spare,andstraight,withhissunburnedfaceandlong,easystride.Philipwonderedwhatshesawinhim.Hedidnotknowifshelovedhimashereckonedlove.Andyet?Hewasconvincedofherpurity.Hehadavagueinklingthatmanythingshadcombined,thingsthatshefeltthoughwasunconsciousof,theintoxicationoftheairandthehopsandthenight,thehealthyinstinctsofthenaturalwoman,atendernessthatoverflowed,andanaffectionthathadinitsomethingmaternalandsomethingsisterly;andshegaveallshehadtogivebecauseherheartwasfullofcharity.

Heheardastepontheroad,andafigurecameoutofthedarkness.

「Sally,」hemurmured.

Shestoppedandcametothestile,andwithhercamesweet,cleanodoursofthecountry-side.Sheseemedtocarrywithherscentsofthenew-mownhay,andthesavourofripehops,andthefreshnessofyounggrass.Herlipsweresoftandfullagainsthis,andherlovely,strongbodywasfirmwithinhisarms.

「Milkandhoney,」hesaid.「You』relikemilkandhoney.」

Hemadeherclosehereyesandkissedhereyelids,firstoneandthentheother.Herarm,strongandmuscular,wasbaretotheelbow;hepassedhishandoveritandwonderedatitsbeauty;itgleamedinthedarkness;shehadtheskinthatRubenspainted,astonishinglyfairandtransparent,andononesidewerelittlegoldenhairs.ItwasthearmofaSaxongoddess;butnoimmortalhadthatexquisite,homelynaturalness;andPhilipthoughtofacottagegardenwiththedearflowerswhichbloominallmen』shearts,ofthehollyhockandtheredandwhiterosewhichiscalledYorkandLancaster,andoflove—in-a-mistandSweetWilliam,andhoneysuckle,larkspur,andLondonPride.

「Howcanyoucareforme?」hesaid.「I』minsignificantandcrippledandordinaryandugly.」

Shetookhisfaceinbothherhandsandkissedhislips.

「You』reanoldsilly,that』swhatyouare,」shesaid.